Boondock Bits
by LunaDoesIt
Summary: I'm writing this purely for entertainment. Having fun with the characters. Nothing too deep I think... Boondock Saints One Shot... turned out to be a little more elaborate but don't expect full chapters becuase some will be very small. Connor McMannus X OC X Murphy McMannus.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I dont own these fine characters, nor the actors. ** (thank you Troy Duffy, for both.)

**This started out as a one shot. It's growing a little bit bigger, but not too much. Just stick with it. And guess what: I like Reviews**

**:-)**

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I stared anxiously at the numbers on the scale. A little sadness clenched my throat. I had always been one of the bigger girls in school, but now I was downright chubby. I wanted to be slender but lean like Ciara, my friend. But I knew it would never be.

I'd tried to go on diets at various stages in my life, but none of them had stuck. Now I was 27 I just made sure I ate pretty healthy and excersized at least half an hour a day. But other than that I had stopped with all diets.

And I knew I had a sweet tooth. Sometimes a midnight snack didn't sound like a bad idea. Which I later regretted of course. But I had made myself a promise not to let it bother me anymore. And that usually worked, until I was on the scale.

A few loud bounces on the door startled me. Are you ready, Saoirshe?. "Are you?" I fired back. "Duh, I've been waitin on ye for twenty minutes. I know ye haven't even dressed yerself yet. Just bin starin at those stupid numbers. Get off the dumb ting an hurry up. Doc is waitin fer me. E'll have me head if I'm late agin."

"Yeah, Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I told Ciara. "I'ts yes... not Yeah." My friend corrected me from the other side of the door. While I heaved myself in my jeans I snickered. "You should hear yourself. With all these weird sounds you are making. Are you sure it's even English you speak?"

"Well of course no. I speak Irish. And Gealic if need be. But at least one knows I'm Irish. Yerself on the other 'and... well ye've gut an very Irish name, but I'm sure ye can't understand a word I'm sayin when I speak in our native tongue. I still can't believe yer ma didn' teach ye."

It was true. My name, Saoirshe, was as Irish as could be, but my dad had left Mom when I was a little baby. So my mother had decided against everything Irish. It bothered me now that I was older quite a bit, but the damage was done. I sounded American and I couldn't change that. I wasn't very bad with other languages though, so maybe I could pick up a Gealic course in my spare time?

I stuffed my white tank top in my jeans, ruffled my dark blonde locks and finished off with a little eyeliner and mascara. Ciara would be, as always, the centre of attention with her red hair and purplish eyes. I was sure I, didn't need more up do. I decided to wear my grey bolero vest to hide my chubby arms as I unlocked the bathroom door. Nobody would give me a second look this evening, I was sure of that.

I flipped the light switch and entered the living area when I thought of something. "Shit. I promised mom I'd call her today. She'll be pissed if I don't. You go on ahead, Ciara. I don't want you to be late."

Ciara rolled her eyes. "I'm already late. But... aye. I'll be goin. Doc will be swamped by now." Ciara started for the door but then she turned around. "But don't ye dare chicken out on me. You'd best be comin or I'll come back fer ye. No need to be selfconcious. Ye look great." I smiled. Ciara, my best friend and roommate thought of everything.

As Ciara closed the door behind her, I grabbed my cellphone and called Mom. The conversation took longer then I intended. Of course only my Mom would drag on and on about some neighbour 's kids. Not bothering to ask me how I was doing.

I looked at the time and decided to start walking. Mom had been talking for half an hour already. I would probably be finished by the time I reached the bar.

I dug up my keys and locked the door of the apartment. Outside I noticed how it had started to drizzle. Great my hair would be fuzzy by the time I reached the bar. I sighed. O well... nothing to be done. "No mom, I didn't sigh because of you. I just hate the rain... Yes it's raining here. Yes I'm going out. Yes. Speak to you next week. Ok. Bye..."

I shut my sleek clamIll phone. Wriggled it in myjeans and closed my eyes for a second. Now, to forget about my family and on for a fun night of Guiness, Jameson and singing.

Connor POV:

Connor McManus walked slowly. He was thinking about the Calling his brother and him had gotten. Though their first gig turned out fine. The whole thing had him a little worried. He'd accepted the calling without hesitation and with Rocco on board there would be plenty to do but he was worried about his brother. His twin and he were so close. Nothing could ever happen to Murph. Though he'd gladly kick the guy's butt sometimes, his life would stop if Murphy died.

Connor unwrapped the pack of cigarettes he'd gotten and lighted one. Only two more blocks for McGinty's. His brother and Rocco would be way ahead of him by now in the amount of alcohol devoured. He chuckled.

Connor heard her before he could see her. She cried out, yelling. The fear in her voice curdled his blood. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he heard a young woman in distress. He flicked away his cigarette and reached for his gun.

A bummer that his brother wasn't with him now. Together they could probably do this more effectively but he was determined to end the suffering he was witnessing.

"No. Please don't. Get off me." A ruffled sound followed by a curse, made Connor smile. That had sounded like She'd kicked one of her attackers. "But I know you want to. My friends had their turns, now it's mine. Come here you fat ass, up your butt I'll go." A male voice groweled.

More panicked and pained sounds, made Connor run. Careful but quick he closed in on the sounds. He rounded the last corner. Hidden in the dark of the night he saw how a blonde girl was surrounded by four men. He couldn't see their faces, but their laughs made him furious.

The girl's s hands had been bound together. Her shirt and jeans had been ripped to shreds and the blood stains told him he was already too late. The biggest harm had been done. But that didn't mean he could safe her from more.

Connor didn't even warn them. He just gunned them down one by one.

The girl screamed as she saw her attackers drop to the floor and felt the blood spatter on her face. She probably didn't get what had happened, that the threat was gone. Suddenly it was silent.

The girl shivered and thrashed at her bonds. Would she be afraid of what was coming next? He'd made sure there wasn't going to be a next but would she trust Connor? The tears streamed down her face from pain and angst.

Connor saw how scared the girl was, so he decided on a slow approach as he revealed himself. "Hi. Me name is Connor. Don't be scared, I won't let anytin else happen to ye. I'm comin closer now. I have to check if they're truly dead. Don't be afraid." He just kept talking softly to the girl to reassure her.

Connor checked the four men's pulses. All but one had none. The fourth one wasn't lasting that long however he wanted to help the girl so he also shot the last one, for good messure. Than he put his gun away and walked up to her even slower.

"Are ye okay? Well, of course yer not okay. Let me help ye." The girls eyes were still big with fear but she nodded. Connor stared for a second at the girls state. He needed to get the girl to a hospital, but he probably wasn't the best person to get her there.

"What's yer name? He asked her while he reached for her hands first. "Saoirshe." She told him. Funny, she didn't sound Irish.

Shit... Tie-rips on her hands and he didn't have a knife. Murph had that one. Connor was the man of the rope, right? "Sorry, girl. I dun have a knife."

Connor shrugged his jacket of and then started to unbutton his shirt. At the sight of that the girl started thrashing again. "No. Please No. Not again." It took a second before Connor understood. He was quick to reassure her. "No. No. Dun be scared. I won't hurt ye, I just want to give ye me shirt. So ye can wrap it 'round yer legs."

Connor helped the girl cover the lower part of her body. He tried to be as careful as he could and tried to avoid a look at her. Nevertheless she let out a few huffs of pain and her cheeks turned scarlet in shame. His gaze got darker as he saw all the bruises on her skin. One thing was for sure, she had tried to fight back, which he thought was brave.

Connor put his pea coat over her shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm.

"Do ye have a phone on ye? I furgot mine." He wondered.

"I think it's over there. I dropped it when they... grabbed me." For the first time Connor heard her normal voice. As he picked up the phone he chuckled at how soft and musical her voice had sounded.

"Does it still work?" she asked him. Connor quickly readjusted the battery and then turned to the girl.

Saoirshe had beautiful eyes he noticed. A deep blue, though they were full of pain now. And he realized he'd seen her before somewhere. Maybe in the pub?

"Listen. I tink ye should call 911, but I can't go with ye. With me shooting all these men and all. Can ye say ye blacked out?"

Saoirshe swallowed and nodded. Connor started to get up but she reached for his hand. "Please. Don't leave yet. I'm still so scared."

Connor briefly touched her hand. "Don't worry. I'll be 'ere until the ambulance arrives. But they can't see me, you understand?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Again... I don't own this story or characters. Hope you all like this.**

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Saoirshe nodded again and dialed 911. Softly and in tears she explained her predicament. After a few questions the woman at the other end of the line had determined where they were and asked Saoirshe to stay on the phone.

Connor meanwhile was irritated. For one he really wished he could have cut of the girls bonds. Secondly he knew he was in dangerous territory. Normally nobody saw their faces. At least not the ones who stayed alive. And thirdly Connor felt irritated that although Saoirshe had screamed pretty loudly, not to mention the gunshots, nobody had showed up to help her.

"Con?" The second Connor heard the sound of his brother's voice he turned around to Saoirshe and shut the phone. "Sorry." He murmured.

"Con, where are ye? Are ye here?" His brother's voice sounded worried.

Why had Murphy even come outside?

"Yes. Over here Murph." He called out. But then he saw Saoirshe's eyes. "No wait... stay at the end of the alley. I'll come to ye."

Connor walked up to Murphy and Rocco. "How did you get here, Murph?" Murphy grinned proudly. "Well there's our twin-sense." He smiled. "I could feel something wrong." After a pause. "And Rocco heard the shots.

Connor nodded and then asked: "Can I 'ave yer knife for a moment?" Murph's smirk was amused as he bent down to get the knife from his boot. It quickly vanished as Connor softly explained what had happened. "Do ye need some penny's?" He asked his brother and Connor affirmed. That brought back Murphy's smile.

Connor sighed and then wondered: "Does 'er name mean anytin to ye? I'm sure I've seen 'er before." Murphy nodded. "Tink I's friend of Ciara. Ye know, de red headed bartender at McGinty's?" Connor remembered now. "I'll go ask her. Could you get that girl then? Saoirshe sure needs another woman with 'er."

Connor went up to Saoirshe, glad he could release her from the tight reins on her wrists. With one swift move he cut the ties. "Thank you." she whispered. Connor hunched down next to the girl holding her hand for a moment. "I wes tinkin where I'd seen ye before, but you go to McGinty's often?" Saoirshe confirmed what Murphy had said. "Shall I get yer friend for ye?" Saoirshe smiled happily. So Connor called out to Murphy.

He heard the ambulance blairing. "I'll be off now. Be careful, darlin." Saoirshe swallowed. "Thank you, again." The musical tone in which I spoke surprised Connor once more. He smiled. "Yer welcome. Get well soon. I'll be seein ye?"

Before she could answer she saw her knight in shining armour vanish.

Saoirshe's POV:

I shivered. It felt like I had been down for hours and hours. But from the second Connor had interrupted until now probably hadn't lasted over ten minutes. I tried to stretch my legs but it hurt too much.

Just as the ambulance employes came close to me I also heard the panicked voice of my best friend. "Saoirshe? Saoirshe? What happened?" Ciara's loving arms wrapped around my neck, before the medics pulled them away.

Connor POV:

McGinty's had closed though inside Murphy, Connor and Rocco were still there. Doc hang up his phone. "Well that was Ciara c...calling from the hospital. It was as you expected, Connor. Th...Th... They went pretty hard on her. There was a l... l...lot of... She's bleeding on the inside. She has a br... broken rib and a few nnnnasty cuts. Other than that FUCK ASS! She'll be fine."

Yeah, she would fine. Connor didn't doubt that, but he knew the infringement usually was the heaviest on the mind. Such a violation was immense to any human.

They were all quiet for a minute. Then Murphy stomped his brother on the shoulder. "So. Ye saved the fat girl. Good fer ye." Murphy raised his glass. "Here's to us!" He hollered and emptied the glass in one move, motioning for Doc to fill it up again. "Heck, Yeah." Rocco added and emptied his as well.

Saoirshe was fat? Connor hadn't noticed. From what he had seen she wasn't really a big girl. Not like Rosengertl anyways. Then he shrugged and drank his Jameson with pleasure.

**Please Please Leave reviews? Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything... Please tell me about spellings mistakes. I'm trying!**

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Saoirshe's POV:

I had just been installed on the couch by Ciara with some pillows, blankets and a cup of tea, before Ciara had run out to get some more painkillers. I had been released from the hospital the evening before and had been happy just to be able to sleep in my own bed.

Ciara had tried to make me talk about what had happened, but I didn't want to talk about it. I had been grilled enough in the hospital by the doctors and that weird detective Greenly. He had kept asking if I didn't remember any more details. But for the first part of the whole endeavour I didn't want to remember details, and on the second part I feighned a black out and memory loss.

A knock on the door made me sit up. My heart pounded in my chest. Who could that be? It was eight-thirty in the morning and I was all alone here. Nope I wasn't stupid. Whoever it was would have to wait. I wouldn't open the door.

I laid my head back on the pillow and sighed. Another knock on the door and only a minute later another one pierced through the peacefulness in the room. I got annoyed. Who was this? I carefully got up, cursing the door without peephole. I bit my lip. Connor had shot her my perpetrators, but what if there had been another one. Was that irrational? So unthinkable? Someone who had somehow followed her here?

I pumped myself up. I wouldn't be the victim this time. I grabbed Ciara's baseball bat from the corner. Pulling my sweat pants up I carefully made sure I was ready to swing. My ribs argued at that move and it hurt really bad. So fierce it made me hiss.

Then I gathered all my courage and in one swift move I ripped the door open and swung the bat.

Too late I realized it was Connor. Luckily he was very quick. "Whoa there." He ducked down before the bat could hit him. I staggered back from the impact when the bat hit the wall. "It's just me. Sorry fer scarin ye."

Great, now I felt ashamed. For trying to hit my savior and for the way I looked. "Couldn't you have said anything? Called your name or something." I argued in as much anger I could muster, which wasn't that hard because I was angry. At myself mostly.

I dropped the bat and almost fled to the comfort of the couch with its blankets. Connor looked a little amused as he closed the door behind him. "Didn't tink I needed to. Agin I'm sorry fer scarin ye."

I had now completely covered myself so I smiled back at him. "It's ok. I was stupid. Guess I was scared from earlier." I told him, as the mental images came back to me. I shook my head, as if that could clear it up. "What are you doing here anyway?" I asked him.

"I came to check up on ye. How ar ye doin?" Connor asked me.

I shrugged. "I didn't tell the cops about you..." I hesitated. "Nor what you did. I'm very thankful you were there."

Connor sank down on a chair and raised his brows. "I didn't ask ye that, now did I? I'm not wonderin about the Razz and I dun need yer thanks. I asked ye how yer doin."

I didn't answer him. I shivered involuntary. I couldn't speak. Images of that night forcing theirselves to the front of my mind; yet again. Connor nodded knowingly. "Thought as much."

Ciara POV:

Ciara came through the door. She'd been worried for seeing a cracked wall but wasn't surprised to see Connor there. She always liked the handsome McManus brothers. Quietly she strode to the kitchen. "Want sum coffee , Connor?" He looked up at her breaking his concentration on Saoirshe for a moment. "Cé go fuaimeanna cathú Caithfidh mé a laghdú_.(Though that sounds tempting I have to decline.)_" He said. "Ye can understand that, right?"

Ciara pulled out one of her flirting smiles. "Or course, Dathúil. (knapperd)"

How long will you be here for? I can make you something to eat? You can take something with you, for Murph and Rocco if you want to?"

Connor nodded. "No. We're good. I just ate before coming here. But thank you."

Saoirshe POV:

I sighed. Sure. Leave it to Ciara to flirt with a guy like Connor. Though to my surprise Connor didn't engage in the flirting but turned back to me. Why would he do that? "Yer name is Irish but ye don't have the accent like we do. Can I know the story there?" He asked.

I sighed. Not this story again. I decided to keep it short. "Dad ran off when I was little. Can't say I blame him: Mom is a piece of work. Anyway, she got pissed and made sure nothing Irish entered my life. End of story." I told him. I kept my fingers crossed that Ciara wouldn't elaborate on my criminal dead brother.

Connor nodded. He seemed to be thinking on something and then suddenly got up. "Well, I'd best be goin. Can I visit ye agin some time? Just to see how yer doin?"

"I'd like that." I smiled at him.

Connor POV:

Connor stiffly sat down on the bar stool. Rocco sat down next to him, his hand wrapped in bandages. When Murphy joined them Doc was shocked. "Shit. Boys. You look like shit. Fuck Ass! Wha... Wha... Did something happen?"

"We got shot by a grey dude with six guns." Murphy told him. He shrugged. All in a days work.

Ciara walked by and gave the boys and doc their drinks. "Ey, Ciara. You donna look so happy. Your friend not doin so well?" Rocco asked her. Ciara shook her head. "Nah, not really. She hasn't been out of the house since... well ye know. She doesn't want to speak te me. She hardly eats, She hardly sleeps. She doesn't tink I know, but I do. I can hear her at night. Crying, wallowing. I dun know what te do." Ciara put her tray down and closed her eyes. "I'm just so tired."

Doc put his arm around Ciara, trying to comfort her. "Want me to talk to her." Connor put out. Ciara looked up. "Would ye do that? Maybe it will help."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: As Always. Don't own Connor & Murphy. **

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Connor POV:

Connor couldn't stand it anymore. He and Saoirshe had talked almost every night since he'd came here that night after their burn hit. The hit that had cost Rocco his finger. He'd come to know Saoirshe very well and hoped he'd taken some of her pain away.

But now she was crying again. Connor's heart stretched out to the girl so he had to act on it, the only way he knew how. He lifted her chin slowly and very softly he kissed her lips. He deeply hoped he could make her understand that what had happened to her wasn't the way it had to go. That there were much better ways of kissing. That there were people who really cared about her.

In the back of his head a tine alarm bell rang pretty loudly. If Murphy knew, Connor would be the target of many jokes, for months to come. Connor and his big girlfriend. To be honest there were two things wrong with that remark. Saoirshe wasn't his girlfriend. This kiss was just to help a friend out. And secondly Connor didn't think Saoirshe was fat.

When he thought of Saoirshe he thought of a fun loving blonde sweetheart. Nothing else. Although he had to admit he cared more about her then he should. Especially with the whole 'calling' thing.

Something changed though. The longer they kissed the more he could feel the tug on his heart. It was stronger than any time he'd kissed a girl before.

Connor knew he had to stop, but he couldn't. It felt addictive. His heart seemed to grow and everything he felt he poured in this kiss.

Saoirshe POV:

I was slowly starting to enjoy this. When Connor had started kissing me at first I was insecure. I had put my hands against his chest intend on shoving him away. But boy, was he a great kisser. Though I could hardly admit it, there was just no point in deniying that I felt special in Connor's arms. With every second our lips were interlocked I felt like another moment, another piece of my being was being revived.

It still felt off though. Like I was still missing another piece. But hey, my body had been invaded by something foreign. Those man had trespassed in a way and I didn't know if I would ever feel complete again.

Connor made a move and pulled me up from the couch, without stopping his kiss. I struggled walking backwards. My mind was racing. Wait... was this what I wanted? What did Connor want, actually.

But before I could say anything Connor pushed me through my bedroom door. "Stop struggling, love. I just want you to relax. 's not about sex." He murmured against my lips, before picking up his intense kissing again.

Did the guy read minds now? Softly he pushed me to the bed. For a short moment we weren't joined at the lips but he didn't linger. He quickly scooted down next to me. He put his arm under my head and lifted my chin. I noticed how he swallowed. "I don know what happened. But I'm fallin fer ye, girl. You make me heart clench. But I know, ye've been hurt. And the way me and me brother live... well I can't make ye any promises. Is it ok fer now to just lay here. Maybe kiss? If you don want tha, just tell me, I'll make sure I'll be gone in the morning."

I closed my eyes for a moment. What did I want? I bit my lip then looked up to him. I wanted to explain to him how he was my hero. Because he saved me, that moment weeks ago. But also because I thought he was such a great guy, because he came and talked to me. He was the only one who had touched my heart and made my pain a little better. A little easier to take. So many more things I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't.

"Kiss me." I breathed. And when he did, finally I didn't feel like the rape victim. I didn't feel like the fat girl from school. I was just me.

Murphy's POV:

On the other side of town, Murphy woke up. Something was different. Was something wrong? Murphy blinked a few times and got up then trailed around the dark room softly. Connor wasn't home yet. But that wasn't what had woken him up. Murphy felt a sting in his heart. The place he always felt moving when something happened to Connor.

They'd always had that. Probably even when they were baby's but of course he didn't remember that. But ever since he was conciously aware, if his brother was being beaten or in danger he felt his heart move. It was the reason he'd walked up to that alley a few weeks ago.

Still this was different. He somehow could sense that Connor wasn't in danger. But it did have something to do with Connor.

Murphy sat back down on his bed, closed his eyes and sighed deeply. What was going on? He tried concentrate. As if that could help.

Muphy knew he was dreaming. This wasn't real because the sun was too bright. But what he saw was the weirdest thing ever. There was a girl waving at him. She was holding Connor's hand, but she kept gesturing for him to come to them.

Murphy walked up to Connor and the girl and he started kissing the girl. Kissing in a way that didn't seem appropriate with his brother there right next to the girl. But when he let go, Connor just smiled. The three of them embraced and then the sun set.

With a jerk, Murphy sat back up. What the hell was that? That girl in his dream had been Saoirshe. And he was sure now that Connor probably was kissing her. But what the heck did his dream mean. He hadn't even seen the girl. Well not consciously.

The hours that followed were weird for Murphy. He felt constantly like he was short of breath. A pressure on his chest that made him ache. His cigarettes didn't even taste the same. He slowly started to freak out a little. What was going on in his mind?

Murphy tried to clean up the kitchen but failed miserably.

At seven in the morning he gave up. He picked up his phone. "Connor? Get home, we need to talk."

Connor POV:

When he entered the apartment he shared with his brother he snickered at the mess in the kitchen. Dirty dishes, clean mugs, dirty oven, bucket with dirty water, clean cabinet doors. His brother had been cleaning?

When Connor had gotten the urgent call from his brother he'd thought it was about another job. But apparently there was something else bugging his brother.

He didn't expect the attack and it took him a few punches before he realized it was Murphy who was fighting him. And this wasn't their usual banter, their fun punching. This felt real.

"What tha heck ar ya doin, Murph. It's me." He called out. But the only thing he got back were grunts and a punch to his jaw.

"Ye just had to fall in love with her hadn't ye? Ye just couldn't leave 'er be?" the words were thrown in his face. He had no doubt about how his brother knew, but it was a little weird. "It wasn't a dicision I thought about, Murph. It just happened." He told his brother, struggling on the choke hold his brother had him in.

"Yer leavin me behind then? Yer goin ta live with 'er?" Murphy threw back at him. Connor tried to hold on to his brother arm. He was almost free. "Never. Ye know tha." Suddenly Murphy had him back in the chokehold. Connor tapped his brothers arm but Murphy held on. Connor could feel himself fading. Murphy had never made him pass out before. "And ye've made it worse. Because now I luv 'er as well." He heard Murphy say, just before he passed out.

Murphy POV:

He did feel a bit awkward for making his brother unconscious. But Connor deserved it. Murphy sat on the fire escape just outside of their room, smoking his cigarette. Connor probably would wake up any second, being very pissed. Untill then Murphy tried to conger up memories he held of Saoirshe. And weird enough, in almost every memory he could think of from McGinty's she was there. She'd been there most of night at St. Patty's day. And before that. And after that. And he remembered checking her out the first time she'd entered the bar. He'd decided she wasn't the girl for the one night things he had now and then. It wasn't often, but now and again he'd bring home a girl.

Saorishe had seemed something different. Special. And Murphy hadn't want to defile that. She probably would never even want him. So he'd filed her away under the category "look, but don't touch". He remembered also being a bit bitter, that Connor had been the one that saved her.

All together, he could say, there always had been a chance that he'd fall for her. And now his heart loved her. He knew.

Shit, for Connor getting them attached. It hadn't happened like this before. But he knew it had to be because of the Twin connection. But it still felt messed up.

**Reviews please?**


	5. Chapter 5

**So... here's a little cuddly thing. **

**I am sorry for the way it is edited. I just copy and paste and this is the way it comes out. **

**Furthermore, I am not used to just put up chapters and be done. I usually take months of shaping and even then I'm not crazy about it. So please leave a review because I can't go on without them. :-)**

**Did anyone get the Sean reference in the previous chapter? The first one who does gets a mention next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these boys. Sadly.**

**Enjoy.**

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Saoirshe's POV:

I cleaned the kitchen. Again. I already had cleaned the bathroom, roamed around on the internet, read part of a book, sent out Ciara for some grocerie shopping and seriously considered getting myself a new hobby.

Oh, I had a good hobby. Dreaming about my gorgeous boyfriend. Yes. That was superb. He had come by last night.

I knew he had something on his mind because he didn't kiss me as much as the two weeks before. The beautiful lines next to his eyes had me sidetracked before I noticed a worried edge in his eyes. "What's up, mo grhá?"

He had asked me, not to call him Con, because Murphy often called him that. So I'd picked up some Irish words and started calling him My Love. He loved it when I practised my Irish.

Connor sighed a little and said: "Murphy wants to meet ye. Properly, that is. Are ye ok wit that?" I had grinned. "Sure... why wouldn't I be." Connor had been quiet for a few moments before he looked up and smiled. Every hint of worry gone: "Well, just because he's me twit brother. He can be stupid."

So now I was counting down the minutes until they would arrive. They would be eating here. And somehow I still was a little nervous.

Connor POV:

Connor grabbed his brothers shoulder. "Ye sure? I mean, just because I understand doesn't mean ye can mess up her life. She wants me in 'er life, which I can hardly fathom. But I don think she can handle the two of us." Connor closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Murphy shoved him and knocked on the door. "O' course I won't mess 'er up. I'll just make 'er choose me, 'cause she'll want to. I'm much more fun then ye are."

Connor didn't get a chance to answer because Saoirshe swung the door open. "Hi. Ow, hi Murphy. How are you? Come on in..."

Saoirshe POV:

Did my ovaries just explode? The two most handsome men in the galaxy were on my doorstep. One of them was in love with me. And I could ask them inside like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I sensed a tension between them but they were still fun to be around. I had made Connor's favourite dinner. Shepard's pie. All made with fresh ingredients from the farmers market. Ciara had gotten those for me. I still hadn't been outside, but I knew it was coming. I had to.

Murphy made me laugh every time. Halfway through dinner Connor slid his chair closer to me, and I leaned into him while still looking at Murphy cracking up at one of his jokes.

I had emptied my plate very quickly. I didn't want Connor to know but I was trying to lose weight. I didn't want to feel so big next to him.

After dinner the boys cleaned the dishes together and I laughed at their shoving and tugging during the whole ordeal.

Murphy turned around, drying a plate with a towel and said: "So Connor tells me, ye haven't gone outside yet?" Connor elbowed his brother so hard the plate almost dropped.

"No. I haven't. Connor stop shoving him." Murphy gleamed proudly at Connor and then walked up to me. He put down the plate and the towel and put his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look in his eyes. Wow those beautiful eyes... wait no. I refocused on what Murphy was saying.

"Well. We're gonna change tha. We'r takin ye outside. And nothing bad will happen." Somewhere I registered an angry sound, coming from Connor. I was fairly sure a glass was just was shattered, but I couldn't turn away from those intense eyes.

It was almost like Murphy was hypnotizing me. Underneath that reassuring stare, I could feel there was something else. He was hiding something, but I couldn't get to it.

Then the moment was over. Connor wrapped his arms around my waist. "It's ok if ye don wan to. Murph is jus bein pushy." His voice whispered in my ear.

"No. I guess it's ok. As long as you both are there." I heard myself say. Was I crazy? I was very happy with Connor being... well some sort of boyfriend. Why was his brother able to do this to me? Why was he the one to pull me over the line? My self- defense line I had put up since that one night.

Going outside was indeed un-eventfull. Connor held my hand all the way to the convenience store. Murphy hugged my shoulders when a man came closer then I liked. I'd shuddered and Connor had immediately moved in front of me and stared the man down.

After we'd gotten back, the boys raided my fridge I had stashed with their brand of beer. "To celebrate." Murphy had exclaimed. Normally I would've joined them, but today I didn't feel like it.

Nothing happened when I was outside but I still had ripped up some mental wounds. Connor seemed to notice because he grabbed my hand and guided me to my bed.

Somewhere during the night I woke up from a bad dream. Connor hadn't shown up and the men just kept torturing me and torturing me and... I didn't open my eyes I just whimpered. And I also didn't really wake up. I was just between waking and slumbering.

I was aware of somebody whispering in my room. That scared me for a moment but then I felt the reassurance of Connors hot body behind me. His arm around me.

"Please Con. She's asleep, she won't notice. Please let me join ye. She's in pain, can't you tell? I sure can." The voice held so much pain and sadness that I felt a sob bubble from my lips. Connors voice resounded through me. "Just make sure ye'll leave before she wakes. Don wanna scare her." I had no idea what they were talking about, but it somehow made me feel like Connor was leaving. I couldn't let that happen so I turned around. I snuggled my face in Connor's chest and grabbed on to his shirt.

Behind me the bed dipped and somebody moved in behind me. I tensed and opened my eyes to stare at Connor's shirt. My mind was still groggy but I tried to make sense about what had just happened. Connors arms were wrapped around my neck and another hand was trailing down my arm.

"She's amazing isn't she." I heard the voice behind me whisper. I swallowed slowly. I was pretty sure it was Murphy, but that couldn't be right... Could it?

"Yes she is. But she's also messed up. What happened to her... well if I could kill those men again I would. But she doesn't need any more weirdness in 'er life. I know ye love 'er too Murph, but this can't be happenin. Fer me it can't either. Ye know our lives are too complicated."

Connor's words landed in my head but I couldn't grasp them. I was too mesmerized by Murphy's soothing hands. My eyes fell close again as I smelled Connor's scent. He felt a little warmer then the moving hands.

"Will we leave her be then?" Murphy asked. "I had been planning on leaving her after she got better. But it is getting harder every day." Connor's voice came. "Want to know what Roc said? 'e said that we're really a package deal." Murphy's said. The humor in his voice touched my heart. I could almost hear Connor roll his eyes. "We might be. At least ye won't be goin to heaven without me." He promised.

I cringed at those words. Heaven? Were they planning on dying? I knew a little of what Connor and Murphy were doing. But dying? That seemed harsh. No it was more than that. I just wouldn't be able to take it.

Unconsiously I moved my back to the coolness. The second Connor got to far though, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back in with a moan. Now I could smell and feel them both. Hesitantly Murphy wrapped his arm around my waist. And for the first time ever, even before those men had ripped me up, I felt whole. Complete.

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**love me some reviews...**


	6. Chapter 6

**As I said. I wrote this purely for entertainment. Just because I had fun with the characters. No real deep things I guess so... I'm moving this along. I'll be putting up three more chapters in the coming days. **

**As allways: I do not own these characters.**

**Please leave a review!**

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"Yo. Sa-orsy. The delivery guy brought back those revised printers. Put them in the back, will you." I shuddered at the strangulation of my name, but nodded to Joey. He turned to help a client, looking for a particular software program.

My work at the computer shop was tedious. But then again, I'd loved gadgets since I was a little girl, so this was in a way the best job ever. Always being on the front line with new camera's, games and computer hardware.

I picked up two of the boxes with the printers and put them in the back of the shop. After I got all the boxes there, I lifted them up and put them in the wooden storage frame. It took me a while before the stuff was as neat as I wished. I made sure the sticker with the type number and serial number was to the front, so it would be easy to read out.

As I was stacking and rearranging, I started thinking about Connor. I mean he was on my mind most of the time but I carefully put it away as much as I could, because otherwise I would be too distracted for my job. And I didn't want to lose my sole way of earning money. But stacking didn't require much of my brain cells so Connor's smile made its way to the front of my mind.

I thought about how he always made me feel like I was the whole world for him. I thought about what he and his brother were doing to make the world a better place. I thought about how Murphy could make smile, no matter how deeply confused I was.

I'd gone with them to McGinty's again. Only because they wanted me to. I only found the courage because of them. Was it a bad thing I was so depending on them? Ciara had smiled widely when I'd come in. Murphy dragging me along.

Doc had handed us some extra rounds after hours. So Rocco, Connor, Murphy, Ciara and me we had a brawl. It seemed to me like the world had stopped. We were in a safe house and nothing could touch us.

I worried though. I found it both appealing and confusing how I needed both Connor and Murphy. How I needed Connor's logic and Murphy's humour to keep me sane. How at nights I yearned for both Connor's fiery hands and Murphy's cooling chest. I remembered the dream I had of having both brothers in my way too clearly to be a dream. But I couldn't acknowledge that it had been real. The consequences of that were too bewildering.

Joey startled me. "You ready? I've got two more customers waiting." I nodded, filing

thoughts of the McManus brothers away again. Work, work, work...

I shook of my reverie and walked out. I greeted the people waiting there for me. A couple. Though the wife seemed to be the one holding on to the wallet, just the way the man ogled the camera in front of him I knew. I pulled out my biggest smile. I would have a good sale today.

After I ate supper with Ciara I sat down in front of the TV. She left around eight so I had my whole evening in front of me. Connor had texted me that he wasn't sure he would be able to come. What was I to do with myself?

I woke up from a fierce knock on the door. The TV still on but the show that was on was something I'd never watch. The knocking continued as I stared at the clock. 23.33h? Wait what? I slowly sat up straight, my groggy mind slowly clearing. My heart pounding in my chest. My throat dry from both sleep and fear. Again I cursed that door for not having a peep hole but I couldn't get up even if it had been there.

"Saoirshe? Ye awake? Connor is a little late, so I thought I'd come by." I sighed deeply to lose all angst that had my heart clenched. "Yeah. I'm up. I'm coming." I called out to Murphy. Gosh those guys sure knew how to give a girl a scare.

I opened the door for him and smiled. "You're lucky. Last time I got this scared, your brother almost got hit by a bat." Murphy smiled proudly. "Well, that's just because ye know ye can trust me." I rolled my eyes as I trotted back to the couch. "Sure Murph. It's all about trust." I said with a yawn.

Murphy settled in beside me on the couch. A little too close to be political correct but that was just Murphy's way, I told myself. "Were ye watching dis?" Murphy asked. His brow knitted together in utter confusion.

"No. I fell asleep hours ago. Give me that remote." I reached for the remote but Murphy kept it just out of my reach. "Nope." He smiled lightly. I tried to grab Murphy's arm again stretching myself over his lap. Truly I did my best not to touch him too much. But just as I thought I had his hand I looked up.

I almost fell off the couch as I stared in Murphy's gorgeous eyes. Not only did I saw unmistakable want there, I saw my own longing reflected there as well. Oh my. What would happen if...

Nope! Get up. I told myself. And I did. I rushed to the kitchen. "Do you want a beer?" My question sounded weirdly insecure. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I told myself again. I held on to the counter, closing my eyes. Connor, I would call MY BOYFRIEND. That would help. I searched my pocket for my phone but realized it was probably on the coffee table.

A small rustling sound behind me made me shiver. "No. I'm good." Murphy said. I turned around and smiled at him. "Do you like anything else?" I wondered. Murphy's gorgeous face made my heart flutter. "Not te sound too cliché, but I like you."

I snickered as Murphy came up to me. "Yeah, I like you too. What time is Connor coming?"

Murphy had invaded my privacy bubble. His body was ever so casually touching mine. He cupped my face in his hands and my breath hitched. "Connor will come, when I call him" Murphy whispered. He let his thumb run over my cheeks.

"I promise. It's ok." He whispered again. And then we were kissing. Not slow and warm but rushing, like a waterfall. His tongue invaded my mouth and my breath wavered. In the back of my mind alarm bells went off. However, it took me a few minutes before it all registered.

Wait, what was happening? I was kissing Murphy? Was I doing this? Was I the bad person... cheating on her boyfriend with his brother? Seriously? Murphy was still holding my head but his lips touched my cheeks now, my jaw, my chin, my neck, back to my lips. Ow, my goodness... this had to stop.

I found in my heart the truth that had been bugging me for the past few weeks. My heart held a love for them both. I could handle that.

But now... now I was in trouble. This wasn't just 'in love'. I knew no girl would ever be good enough for Murphy, if such a lady would come along. I would be so jealous. But I couldn't choose between them, because Connor, my sweet guy. Ow Connor. "Murph." I whispered. "You have to stop. I can't do this."

"Why?" His question came. Not stopping at all. "Connor? You know... your brother? Who happened to be my boyfriend, whom I love, and who will be here soon. I mean I know you said he'd be here if you called him. But I will have to tell him this. I'm honest like that, so I will call him too. He can be here in twenty minutes if I ask, right?"

Murphy was relentless. "Twenty minutes to make out. That sure sounds perfect. I've been waitin for this for weeks."

I decided Murphy needed a bigger hint so I shoved him away with all my strength, though my mind shuddered at the "waiting for weeks' remark. "Ey." He called out.

"Don't be a baby. Get up and get out. I love you, you know that. But I won't do this. I won't betray Connor's trust like that." I told him.

Murphy didn't seem fazed. He just got up with a smirk and got out his phone and handed it to me. "Call him." He challenged me. I stared at Murphy uncomprehending. But then I dialled Connor's number and waited. The phone rang once before an almost breathless Connor answered the phone. "Murph? What happened? Did ye tell her? Is she ok? Don't tell me ye made 'er cry or so help me..." I swallowed and dropped the phone. I saw Murphy pick it up. "Connor. What did ye say? She's kind of out of it now. No, I didn hurt her. I would never... Yes, I tink it's better we both tell her. See ye in a few." Murphy put away his phone.

I just blinked. "Tell me what?" I suddenly demanded but Murphy didn't speak. He just stood there with that smirk on his face.

It seemed only moments later that Murphy let Connor enter my house. Connor sat me down on the couch as they both started talking about how they both loved me. THEY BOTH LOVED ME? I tuned out a bit until I saw them staring at me. Murphy expectantly and open. Connor careful and a bit hesitant.

Something just fell into place right then. How did I get to be this lucky? I whispered: "Three weeks ago, the day I went outside for the first time? That night... I wasn't dreaming was I?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Tying in with BDS1 and it might get a bit cheesy at the end but I had to establish this. Hope you all like it.**

**Disclaimer... I do not own.**

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Connor POV:

"NOOOOO!" Connor screamed at the dead body of his friend. Rocco's shirt wasn't white anymore. It was red from the blood.

It felt like a piece of his heart was being cut off and it physically hurt seeing his brother crying for Rocco. If anything he wished he could protect his brother from this agony. But nothing could be done. Rocco was gone.

"Do it!" Murphy's muffled demand made Connor determent. He had to do this, otherwise they would never get out. Neither of them. But they both wanted to get back to Saoirshe. This was going to hurt him as much as it would hurt Murph. In a flash he remembered a moment when they had been little. Murphy had fallen down a tree and a branch had pierced through his arm. Connor swallowed back a bit of bile. He could feel Murphy's pain when he had pulled the branch out. This was similar and Connor knew he had to do this.

Then Connor raised his boot and struck down at Murphy's wrist. But with every stroke he said sorry in his mind.

They laid coins on Rocco's eyes and sat down next to him. Rocco's loss was going to take a big toll on them.

"Shepards we shall be..."

The sound of a lighter made them both turn, gun drawn. The grey man that had shot them before was there. But he spoke the prayer.

Connor released his gun. Who was this man?

Saoirshe's POV:

A small knock on the door was all it took for my heart to plummet into the deep pit of hope. Would it be them?

It was them. Bloodied and all ruffled. But the image of Murphy holding his swaddled hand struck a nerve. I grabbed them both in a tight hug, pulling them inside at the same time. "Are you guys allright? Get in here. Where's Roc?"

Connor and Murphy didn't breathe a word but their distraught faces were telling the story of a disastrous night. I didn't ask for conformation yet. I just closed my eyes for a secong, happy they were home, while they both were hanging on to me.

I felt Murphy shake. Was he crying? Oh my gosh. Rocco must be dead then. I touched his hair slowly, holding on to Connor with my other arm. As long as I could be home to them, I didn't mind them leaving.

I hadn't even noticed how the door was closed behind my guys until I heard a gruff "Uhmhm." come from behind them. "I'm Noah." The older man said extending his hand but then pulled it back in because my arms were pretty full.

I was a little dumbfounded. Who was this? I hadn't heard Connor nor Murphy mentioning a man like this before. But there he was, his grey curls framing his face. Something in his intense eyes made me trust him, though I was a bit cautious.

Connor and Murphy both let go of me and I almost whimpered at the loss. I started checking Connor for wounds but he shook me off. "It's ok, lovely. I'll be fine."

I nodded to the three men then and gestured to the couch. As Connor, Murphy and the man seemed to sit down I hurried to the kitchen to get the beers I always had on hand. I'd started doing that a few months ago, since Connor had come by more often. And then I doubled the amount when Murphy had decided to stay more often as well.

I opened the refrigerator, put the beers on the counter and searched for something for the boys to eat. "Are you guys hungry?" I called out. "Maybe a little for ye" Someone whispered in my ear as two warm arms wrapped themselves around my waist.

I clamped my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't squeal. "Connor. Don't do that." I whispered. "Do what?" He whispered back innocently. "Well scaring me like that." But I smiled when Connor's head sneaked next to mine. His lips touching my neck for a moment.

"Yes. I tink I could eat somting. If you two ar' ready." Murphy's voice came gruffly as he walked in to the kitchen area as well.

wriggled myself out of Connor's embrace, flicked on the oven, and grabbed a kilo of prime ribs from the freezer. "So, who's the new man?" I wondered while I put the meat in an baking dish and put it all in the oven.

The quick glance the boys shared didn't escape me. "He's our Da." Connor spoke carefully. I frowned. "He's what? ... I thought you guys said you didn't know your Dad."

"We didn't" Murphy answered. "But we don't know much besides that he finished the prayer and he told us he was. We still want ta, need ta talk to im." Murphy's Irish accent more heavily than normal suggested he was dead on his feet.

I didn't look at Murphy or Connor, held on to the counter and asked: "Rocco?" I squinted into nothing, hoping nothing had happened. "Aye. He died tonight." The sadness in Connor's voice was so thick I turned around. I hugged him, feeling another pair of eyes burning in my back.

My heart was bleeding for my boys. I turned around in Connors arms. And seeing Murphy so hurt, his usual bravado totally gone did it. I walked up to him next, pulling him by his good hand to my kitchen chair and kneeled down in front of him. I watched Connor for a moment then ever so slowly pressed a kiss on Murphy's hand. The one that wasn't all banged up. "Want to tell me what happened?" I asked him as I started to unravel the bandage from Murphy's other hand.

Murphy chuckled: "Connor broke it." I almost literally felt my jaw drop. "Connor. You did what? Tell me what happened right now or I'll..."

But Connor shook his head. "Tanks for that Murph. No, in a minute, lovely. Just do what ye can fer his hand and then we'll all talk over dinner."

It sounded real weird coming from Connor, he usually told me everything. Even when I didn't always like what he said. But he was always the man with the plan. It did give my insecure self a little boost though, that he wanted me there for when the talk with their dad.

"You can both, uhm all, clean up in the bathroom. Just make sure the last one pours a little bleach down the drain. To get rid of the blood." I told Connor.

Finally I had peeled off all the bandages on Murphy's hand. "Does this hurt?" I asked Murphy when I carefully touched the bones. "No" He spoke. But his face told me otherwise. "Doesn't your brother have a name for you , when you're like this?" I grinned. Connor who came back from the living area, he had brought Noah a beer, snickered. "What? Is 'e playin Macho Murph agin?"

I smiled as I saw Murph frown but laugh a little. "Shut it." He almost growled.

Then my smile faded. "Your hand is definitely broken, Murphy. I think you should go to the hospital for an x-ray and a cast."

"Later." Murphy said. "Just wrap it up real tight. Do ye have some painkillers?" I nodded as I got up for the small emergency bag I had in the back of my closet.

Fourty minutes later the three men were cleaned up, drinking their third beer and ready for the ribs I put in front of them.

I grabbed myself a beer as well. I had to get the edge off the pain inside me. Rocco gone. And it had half killed me to wrap up Murphy's wrist. I knew Murphy was in pain but he urged her to go on. Then I had put new bandages on Connor's cauterized wound on his leg. That one was healing so badly, I was afraid it would get infected.

I sighed and waited. Knowing it might take the men a while before they started talking.

"Yer not eating, Saoirshe?" Connor, always the attentive one. I shook my head. I was glad he hadn't seen me for the last couple of days. I had eaten hardly anything. For one, because I'd been very worried about 'my boys'. And secondly because I was still working on losing some weight. They would both only laugh at that. Connor would deem it unnecessary and Murphy would think it funny.

However I knew, not in the least because I wanted to be healthier and more lean, I just had to. So I was going to do this unnecessary funny thing.

While my men related the story to her about that evening, I felt the eyes of Noah rest on me several times. There was something about him that was intriguing but dangerous. Something in his eyes that made me worry for Connor and Murphy. Would they stay safe? Not that the man would personally hurt the brothers. But he might lead them to some place I wouldn't be able to follow them.

We will get Yakavetta for dis. Don't ye worry boys. He needs te be gone." Noah said. Connor stare at him. "I'll contact Smecker. We will find a way."

I realized then that this was going to a whole new level. Connor and Murphy were going to be in some serious danger. And there wasn't much I could do but wait.

I'd read somewhere how girls got fed up of waiting for their loved ones to come back from the war. Nowadays that was almost regarded as sacrilegious. However, on a certain level I could understand where those girls were coming from.

I hated waiting on my McManus brothers. Not knowing when or how or even if they would come back. Not knowing if the next knock on her door would be Detective Duffy to tell me they'd died.

I hated to patch up Connor and Murphy when they'd come back, bleeding on my carpet, on my kitchen table and bleeding in the bath room. And even more so making my heart bleed.

However most of all I hated the intense crazed mind blowing love I felt for them both. Only one thing made that sting a bit. I loved them deeply however I was certain I didn't mean as much to them. I hated that love, for I knew if either one or both should cease to exist I would be broken. Literally broken, to the extent of not being able to mend. I would not be able to live through that.

Nevertheless, I couldn't stop my feelings or emotions. I would never ever stop waiting. Not ever. I shaped and formed the love I carried around for them. I would take care of them when they'd get back.

Murphy would be happy to hear I loved them both now. I knew it had been there all the time, but it was weird being a girlfriend to them both. I mean, a man with more women was acceptable in some countries. But a woman with two men? But I shouldn't worrie because every day, they told me: They loved me and they knew how to share.

I smiled for a moment before remembering the loss of Rocco. A loss that would be so hard on my guys. I sighed. What a terrible and strange life I had ventured in to.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much for the reviews and the follows. I can hardly believe anyone actually likes what I'm writing.**

**I wrote this chapter because I needed the practise of action and angst. I hope its ok. Please tell me! More Saoirshe and some intemacy around the corner. **

**Disclaimer as usual. I do not own.**

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Murphy's POV:

Murphy saw how the man struck his brother down. Both their hands had been tied behind their backs. He writhes at the restraints and at the men that were holding him back. Murphy yelled and struggled to get free when two more men joined in hitting and kicking his brother. Murphy's breath hitched when one of the men smashed a wooden crate right into Connor.

The gag in Connor's mouth made sure that he wouldn't scream, though Murphy doubted Connor would, even if the gag hadn't been there. Their eyes lock for a moment and he could feel Connor conversing with him. "It's ok. I can handle this." Murphy didn't agree. Nobody touched his brother.

His mind raced over various options. How to get out of this?

The men tied Connor, without his coat, shirt, boots and socks, to a metal chair then. A car battery was brought in along with some wires and other equipment. As soon as Murphy realized what they were going to do he tore at his tied up hands, sending small jolts of pain up his arm. "Naw." His voice pitched because he was desperate. "Don touch him. Get away from 'im."

"That's the best you can do?" A bald headed guy smirked. "Telling us to get away? We're going to do so much more before you guys will be between six planks. Right Boss?" A shadow behind the bald man moved. "We shall see how much they can take." The Spanish accent flowed around Murphy.

He tried to remember how they had gotten here. They'd left a message for Da just before they left. Smecker had told them to lay low until the Yakavetta trial would begin but they had gotten information that Saoirshe had been taken.

Murphy snickered. That had probably been a rouse. Saoirshe was almost certainly safely at home. But they hadn't hesitated. Nobody touched their girl. She was theirs to keep, to protect, to hold. She fit between them like... Murphy hated all the idiom. He wasn't going to try to find the right word. Saoirshe was perfect for them. She was home.

A low grumble from Connor got Murphy back to reality. The wires were attached to Connors naked arms and around his ankles. Murphy looked at him. He felt panic arise in his chest. This was bad. If Da couldn't find them in time Connor wouldn't survive this. And he wouldn't either then. His twin wasn't supposed to leave this world without him.

"Ye've got hell ta pay, if ye're goin to do dis!" Murphy growled between his teeth. But the Ricky Martin look-a-like didn't respond and just flipped a switch, and turned a knob. Connor's whole body convulsed and flopped in the chair. Murphy felt tears running down his cheeks when he saw Connor's muscles clench. "Stop. Connor! Brudder. I'm right here. A shealbhú ar. Please!" (_Hold on) _He tried to get Connor to look in his eyes, but Connor's eyes just rolled back in his head.

After a minute or so the man stopped. He made sure Connor's heart was still beating. Murphy was still on his knees. Every now and then trying to escape. Pissed he couldn't get out of this mess.

After another round of electricity they sent through Connor's body they cut all of his ties. The ones on his wrists, ankles and even the gag. Connor just slipped of the chair. Not able to control his body anymore.

The man walked up to Murphy. "Now that I've got your brother out of the way... I'm Agust. I've been hired to make sure you two will not mess the trial up."

Murpy answered, the distaste for the man almost tangible. "Whut trial? Yakavetta's?" He felt a smile creep around his lips. "He's dun fer." Murphy said.

"So you think now that Yakavetta is locked up, for now that is, nothing bad can happen? That he doesn't have any power left? Are you stupido?" Agust stared Murphy in the eyes. Murphy didn't blink. What was this man looking for?

Then suddenly Murphy's hands were freed. Someone had cut his bonds. But instead of being able to swing out the person that had cut the ties was still holding his arms. Agust looked like he was enjoying this way too much. The man pulled Murphy's hand to the front. The one that still had a cast on it. Murphy knew that he was able to handle the pain that was coming as long as they wouldn't turn their attention back to his brother.

Connor's POV

Connor came around to the sounds of his brother in pain. That wasn't right? He was the big brother. He was supposed to take care of Murphy. He tried to look around to where his brother was.

His heart clenched at the sight of Murphy's casted arm tied to a table. Two men taking turns of hitting the already battered hand with metal bars. "No." He breathed. Agust flicked his head around. "Stop." He yelled. "Welcome back, Connor. I've been waiting for you. As you can see we've moved on to hurt your brother. But be assured that I'm not done with you."

Hour after hour followed. Connor getting the electric shock therapy and Murphy getting beaten down. At some point two of the men were called away. Connor heard an explosion outside but he couldn't think.

Connor felt how he lost his hold on life. He felt his cells shutting down. And somehow he knew this was going to be the last time. His body was cut loose again and he slumped down to the ground. "Ní féidir liom é a ghlacadh níos mó, deartháir." _(I can't hold on anymore, brother) _He whispered. Knowing Murphy would hear him. Murphy responded by crying out but Connor had to say something more. "Tá brón orm. Tabhair aire Da agus Saoirshe a ghlacadh." (_I'm Sorry. Please take care of Da and Saoirshe.) _Slipping into his beloved Gealic.

Murphy's words reached Connor slowly. "Don't give up, Connor. At least don't leave without me! We promised!" Connor tried to smile and look up to Murphy.

Murphy managed to get a leg under him and tackled one of the two men holding him. Was he getting free? Good. Connor could hardly believe that Murphy had so much energy left. "msorry, Murph. Love ye, brother." Connor couldn't see anything anymore. Blackness taking over his vision. His heart still tried to pump his blood but he noticed how it went slower and slower.

Saoirshe came into his vision. Goodbye, love. His last coherent thought was.

Murphy POV:

Murphy didn't really know how he'd managed it but he kicked down the two men who had been holding him. Agust had been looking, indulging in Connor's death. But now he turned around. "You are too late. He's gone." Murphy attacked Agust, shoving his head in the man's abdomen. The man stumbled backwards crashing his head on the floor.

As quick as Murphy was able to he fumbled with the knife from his boot. It took him longer then he wanted but he managed to cut his bonds. Now why hadn't he been able to do this before. He tied Agust to the chair Connor previously had been sitting in.

Then he slid down next to Connor. He felt on Connor's neck... Was there a heartbeat? He couldn't feel one. "Naw, Con. Please be here." He begged softly as he put his head on Connor's chest.

But no matter how deeply he'd wished it he couldn't feel any life in his brother. His twin. His other half. He screamed and shouted. He knew what Connor had asked him. Murphy wanted to take care of Da and Saoirshe. He did, he felt how Saoirshe's anchor was pulling him. But he couldn't. The despair was too much. Losing his brother had always been his greatest fear.

Without ceremony he stood up and planted his knife in the still unconscious brain of Agust. He wished for a more painful death for the man that had taken his brother from him but he didn't have the time. Murphy fumbled till he found Agust's gun. The ruckus outside clearly indicating that the other men would be back soon.

As good as he could manage he sat down on the floor and pulled Connor into his lap. He felt dead inside already. Connor was laying on his crushed left arm as he raised the gun with his right. He closed his eyes and started praying. "I know dis is a sin Lord, but I can't live without me brother. Please sent Yer angels to take care of our girl. And Ma and Da if possible." He sighed and swallowed, cocking the gun against his throat.

"M coming, Con." He whispered


	9. Chapter 9

**So... how was my cliff hanger? I hope I didn't pain you too much. This is a short chapter. More notes at the end. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters.**

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Saoirshe's POV:

Noah is in front of me as he kicks open the third door. My heart beats frantically as I grab my favourite bat tighter. I thought I heard Murphy scream a few minutes earlier but this room is as empty as the previous. Noah has a dark scowl on his face. Noah is indeed as good as my guys have been bragging about. He, almost single handed eradicated all the goons in this place.

The tugging on my heart becomes worse. _Hold on guys, we're coming._ Noah shoots two more men, coming at us. Then we round another corner to find four more doors. I immediately get pulled to one of them as I fling it open. "No!" I scream out.

Murphy's POV:

A familiar voice reaches Murphy's mind. NO! Suddenly soft hands are prying the gun out of his hands. Murphy's face falls to Connor's, tears streaming down his face. The same sweet voice telling him something.

Finally Murphy looks up to the face in front of him. "Saoirshe" he sighs. He lets his head rest to hers as they both cry. "I'm Sorry. I'm so sorry. I let him die." Murphy utters, his voice hoarse.

Saoirshe cups his face in her hands. "Listen to me!" she demands. "It's not your fault." Suddenly his Da, appears behind Saoirshe. "We need to get out of here. I've handled dem, but there might be more." His Da tells them.

Murphy stands up. Half broken inside. He carefully picks up his dear brother. This will never be right. He knows it. His life will always be empty, or at least missing a big part of it.

They walk outside to the car Da and Saoirshe have brought. Ciara is behind the wheel. She'd been waiting. Connor is draped on Murphy's lap and Saoirshe sits down next to them, grabbing on to Connor's hand.

They drive for ten minutes. Ciara is caught by a red light and she sighs. Suddenly Saoirshe gasps. "Connor?" she mutters. Murphy shakes his head. Of course, she would have a hard time accepting this as well. But then she sits up straight. "Connor? My love." More demanding.

Noah turns in his front seat, his brows raised in question.

Murphy swallows hard, his arms around his brother's torso. "Saoirshe. Con is gone." Murphy feels the pain in his chest but his heart isn't empty yet. He knows it will take a while before his heart will acknowledge the empty spot that is there. A room for his brother, left vacant because of Connor's passing.

"No!" Saoirshe cries out. "No, look... he's clutching my hand. Oh my goodness. He's still here." The tears keep spilling out of her eyes but now the reason is more joyfull. Murphy has a hard time believing it.

But then he feels a tiny movement beneath his fingers. "Ciara. Turn around. Go left to the hospital. I don't care how many stop sign's you have to run." Ciara nods at Murphy.

His heart hadn't felt empty yet because Connor was still here! The realisation settles in as Murphy nuzzles his face in Connor's hair, for as much as is possible. "You're alive!" He mumbles.

"Washn't able tleave yet" Soft words, slurred together, barely audible. But Murphy clings to them as they represent that his brother is still with him. He sends up a wordless prayer of thanks.

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**Now you guys didn't seriously think I would let Connor get killed now did you? **

**A special thanks to my faithfull reviewers. Especially Tianna and 587. **

**Hugs! and please tell me what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Because the last chapter was so short, here's the battle after the battle. :-)**

**Yep I'm making a little time jump. As said from the start I never intended for this to grow this big. It started out as a one shot. There will be more time jumps and shorter chapters! Sorry for that. It's not that I'm taking it easy its just how I felt to write it.**

**For the sake of the story I'm taking more time between Rocco's death (aka finding their Dad) and the Yakavetta Trial. Instead of three months in between its more like six months.**

**Again thank you for reading and please keep sending me messages and reviewing.**

**And as always I do not own the McMannus Brothers and such.**

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Saorishe's POV

I sigh against Connor's lips. Our kisses are great but I break off and start to get up. Connor loves being nurtured and that's exactly what he's getting. Though we've been home for a few weeks he still has trouble walking so I pretty much hand him everything he needs. "You're lazy." I tell him. Connor snickers. "Ye know I'm de one who almost died, now don't ye." I smile at him. "Almost being the imperative word there, Connor. I love you but you have to get up more. Murphy is getting on my nerves. He's too jigglish for his own good."

Connor's face falls. "I know. Ye're right. Dis is the only time I got this close though. So close to death. It was so peacefull and I swear I literally saw white light." He says. He turns his head and stares outside. I can't handle this hurting man that Connor has become and I'm on my knees next to him immediately. I stroke his gorgeous hair softly before he turns his face to me, a watery smile on his face. "Sorry, love." He whispers. I want to console him, to get this pain out of his system so I help him, the way he helped me months ago. I lean in and kiss him again. I let my tongue trace his lips and after a few moments he responds.

Murphy chooses that moment to burst inside. "Busted." He yells with one of his superb smiles and I can't help to smile back at him. He kicks the door closed behind him and plops down on my couch. I stand and take a few steps towards my kitchen but then I turn.

I can see how Murphy's eyes send me a question. _How is he today? _I tilt my head just a little bit and bite my lip for a second as I shrug. _He's ok I guess._

Murphy and I have been conversing this way since Connor got back from the Hospital. Murphy's hand is still in a cast and the doctors aren't that anxious to get it off yet. It will need at least four more weeks to heal and even then they're not sure if he'll be able to use his hand properly.

"So. I went to meet Smecker today. Yakavetta's trial is in two and a half months." Murphy starts. But instead of coming up with a plan Connor just turns his head to stare out the window again.

Murphy curses under his breath then nudges Connor. "Come on, Con. I know ye're hurting but please. Come back to me?" Silence settles in between my boys. I'm edgy, desperate to say at least something, but I know I can't help this. So I bite my tongue and look at my dry wall. I wipe away my tears and turn to my kitchen. Comfort food, that I could do.

BDSBDSBDSBDSBDSBDS

Connor was progressing slowly. He'd started to go outside again, went drinking, shopping and practise shooting with Murphy as often as Murphy wanted to go. He'd give me tight hug when he got back and then hung around in the living room. Sometimes pacing, sometimes just staring out of the window. He laughed at Murphy's jokes and scoffed at my next diet. But the Connor I'd known before all this didn't seem to be able to make his way back to us.

Noah crashed on my couch every now and then. Where he went and what he did in between I had no idea of. And I was pretty sure I didn't really want to know.

Ciara had moved into the loft above McGinty's so Connor and Murphy could stay with me. The bed was hardly big enough for the three of us but I adored being in between them. I enjoyed being basked in by their love.

As every other night Murphy wrapped his arm around me from behind me while I held on tight to Connor's shirt, snuggling into his chest.

I woke up panicked. Connor had wrapped his arms around as well. Normally that would be ok. Murphy would usually let up a little and later on during the night I would turn and switch it up. But now I could feel Connor's arms around contracting. He held me so close, my face buried in his chest I could hardly breathe. He literally was suffocating me. I squirmed and tried to move but his arms tightened even more.

"Connor." I muffled in his shirt. But he didn't seem to hear me. I started kicking my legs. Not hard but I had to get out of this prison he created. My vision started to blur already. Tears leaking out of my eyes.

"Connor?" I felt my consciousness waver and tried to swallow, though my throat burned. My longs hurt in desperate need of air.

All of a sudden I heard a roar. And then Connor was off me. I scrambled off my bed, gasping for air and huddled in the corner, looking how Murphy was restraining a screaming Connor on the other side of my bed. Murphy was pushing him to the ground with all his strength. "Nooo. They can't have her. They musn't get to her." Connor screamed out.

"Connor? Con? It's me. It's yer Murph. It's just a dream, brother. Wake up.!" Murphy talked to Connor. But Connor's trashing continued.

I hated this. I couldn't help but literally despise the people who had done this to my Connor. And they'd used me to do it. Not literally but if it hadn't been for me, Connor and Murphy wouldn't have walked into that trap.

I looked up when Connor seemed to awaken and stopped trashing against his brother. Murphy sat back leaning on his arms while Connor moved away from him. He let his back rest against the wall, his knees pulled up.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, his eyes closed. "I'm so, so sorry!"

I got up and crawled to him then. I was a little hesitant but I was sure Murphy wouldn't let anything happen to me. And my heart ached for Connor. I wished I could take some of his pain away.

Finally I reached him and carefully touched his leg. His eyes flew open. Before he could say 'sorry' again I took his head in my hands and kissed him. Hard and demanding. "It's ok. Just come back to us." I whispered.

Then I wrapped him in a hug as much as he let me. I felt Murphy joining us, touching both me and Connor.

Connor started crying then. Literally crying, his tears wetting his shirt. Mostly wiping them away because the tears embarrassed him, but unable to hold them back.

I didn't know how long we sat there but after a few hours we got up and got back to our usual positions on my bed.

I felt safe as long as Murphy was behind me and I stroked Connor's face until he fell asleep.

We would be ok. I just knew it.

BDSBDSBDSBDSBDSBDS

"Look at this!" Murphy wriggled his fingers as he sighed. "Me arm looks as white as the moon and it's as thin as one of Ma's knitting needles." He sighed again, exasperated. Murphy's cast had come off the day before. The muscle dystrophy in his arm pretty terrible but the muscles and tendons didn't seem torn. The doctors had given him the approval of going without his cast. He could train his arm every day now, the bones in his wrist and hand fully healed.

I nodded to him, trying to find a witty remark. But Connor suddenly looked up from his seat at my kitchen table. "I always knew you were a stick puppet." He winked. I tried to keep my shock under wraps. He didn't need to know how surprised I was for him to respond at all. Even though it wasn't as funny as something Murphy would have said; the fact was he responded to our conversation. Something he hardly did since that night he'd cried so much.

Murphy seemed baffled as much as I was so I kicked him in his sheen. "Ow." He glared at me but then he turned to Connor and smiled widely. "I can still take ye!" He taunted. In half a second Connor was up and the two men I loved were tangled on the floor. Shoving and tugging at each other. A good an friendly bawl between the brothers.

I smiled widely. See I knew we'd be good.


	11. Chapter 11

**Don't you just hate it when writers take too long uploading the next chapter? Well yeah... I'm sorry. Reality held me hostage for a few days. Here's chapter 11 and if you guys like it, I'll post chapter 12 & 13 as well tonight. Please let me know!**

**Ow... my first ever uhm *hidesherface* fluffy sexy smutty thing. So please be nice! **

**Disclaimer: my story, not my guys.**

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Sandwiched between the two loves of my life I finally found my answer. I knew I would have to leave.

They had a job to do and I was slowing them down. They had been hurt because of me, because they were trying to protect me. No matter what Noah had told me, I already knew they loved me and I loved them back. However that love was just the problem. They'd both been inside me this night because I loved them. That most intimate moment between lovers, that would be my gift. I just had to find a way to quit them, cold turkey. I would never be able to choose only one, but that didn't seem to be a problem for them.

I sighed. The last few months had gone by so quickly. I regretted not enjoying it more. Once Connor and Murphy had healed we'd had a considerable normal life. I worked for three days a week, I cooked, cleaned the guns and even went as far as training with them on a few occasions. In the evenings we'd hang out. Just an easy peasy normal life.

Only my boys didn't have a normal day job.

Now, tomorrow they'd be going on one of their biggest missions yet. With their father. If they hadn't been noticed by the media before, they sure would be now. Noah's plan was both bold and cunning. The detectives and Smecker; they were all in on it. But instead of focussing on the task at all they could think about was me. That had to stop.

Tonight... First Murphy had caught me crying on my balcony. I knew they were trying to figure out a way to keep me out of this whole plan. They even considered going back to Ireland for a while. I cried because I wanted them to be safe but I knew I would be broken if they left. Murphy he tried to comfort me in the way he knew would be good. He had talked to me and then scooped me up and almost thrown me on my bed. I was engrossed by his kisses. He'd kissed my neck before he had pulled me into the shower. My heart had pounded and though he didn't know I had been a virgin up until that moment, he was trying to be careful. I could tell. Considering my rape, technically I wasn't virgin anymore. But I had never been with a man before. Not like this. I'd even denied Connor this because my beliefs in sex after marriage were so strong.

Murphy's strong body kept me up against the shower wall when I had wrapped my legs around him and he entered me. Murphy's groans made me crazy and I had wanted it. I felt my insides contract with the expectation of every one of his strokes.

When I came, grumbling his name and he found his release I felt full and happy. Murph had kissed me again; content in his mind he'd helped me.

I was hardly able to stand so he carried me to my bed. How they were able to carry me with all my weight was still a miracle to me. Murphy had gone back to the shower. And I'd sprawled out on the bed, only a sheet covering me. I was blissfully happy.

Of course after that, I came tumbling down the blissfull mountain, worrying again. What was I to do? They wanted to protect me from anything. And that just couldn't be. They had to be able to focus.

That was when Connor had entered my bedroom. I didn't understand the pained look on his face at first until he laid down beside me and started tracing my tattoo which dipped on my bare breasts. I could really smack myself then. I actually tried even, before he caught my hand.

As said, Connor knew I hadn't been with a man before and the love he is, he'd respected my wish to keep it that way a little while longer. He wasn't mad now but maybe disappointed?

I wanted to show Connor that I didn't prefer his brother over him. So I'd started kissing him. I had to make _him_ pull of his clothes but then... The only way I can describe what happened next was actual love making.

Connor was so tender and slow, my bones almost felt unhinged by the time our breathing finally had picked up. His kisses on my collarbone, on my chest, on my inner thighs, on my arms, and on my neck all sent chills down my spine. He was so sweet and careful and he brought me to another level. When he finally entered me I didn't even know if I had the energy to move. But apparently I did and when we almost simultaneously fell into stars it was so satisfying.

And now I was here. On my side facing Connor, his hand resting on my other side. I sighed deeply feeling the butterflies in my belly churning as I gingerly touched Connor's face. I pushed a lock of his hair aside and smiled. Oh how I loved the crinkles beside his eyes, the ones caused by his intense smiles.

I kissed the other hand with Aequitas tattooed on it. The arm that went with it was wrapped around my chest. Murphy had snuggled up against my back somewhere during the night. It was literally hot between them and they both had a little snore but I soaked in every memory of this.

Because somewhere during all that sexuality I had decided. I was leaving them to their calling. If God thought I should do it differently he had to be the one to change my heart, because I couldn't. I would always love them (how cliché) and in a way I would never stop waiting for them. I knew my heart would always be fractured.

I saw the sky turn to a lighter shade of dark grey. I knew I had to get out. I slowly wriggled myself from between them. My heart shuddered when Murphy mumbled something in Gaelic and turned on his other side. Not facing his brother anymore.

I smiled. They were so cute together. I mentally took various pictures and then turned around.

I quickly washed myself, grabbed some clothes and my bare neccesity's. My diary with the pictures of Ciara and my parents, my camera, my external hard drive and the rosary the boys had given me. I couldn't part with that one.

I sat down and poured my heart out on a sheet of paper. I knew there was no other way.

Then I took a few stacks of the money from the closet. I knew they wouldn't mind, besides I was making it up to them by leaving the apartment for them. As I pulled on my leather jacket my eye fell on the boys pea-coats. I couldn't keep myself from smelling both the jackets one more time. Murphy's deep earthly smell, with a touch of beer and his aftershave. Connors sunny smell (I still had no better word for it) with an edge of coconut cream.

I swallowed and then walked out of the door, closing it softly behind me. I wouldn't come back here. Not ever.


	12. Chapter 12

**Somehow I found this very hard to write. It was just a chaotic mess when it came out... just hope its ok. Let me know**

**Disclaimer...Still do not own them.**

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_My loves,_

_Let me just start here by saying that last night both of you were amazing and great and... oh well you get the picture. No smirking there, Macho Murph._

_Ok, I'll admit it, you Connor held my heart first. The way you saved me that night, the way you saw through me after that, the conversations we've had are amazing. Talking or even being silent for hours on end. Connor you just keep sweeping me off my feet._

_ But you Murphy, I can talk with you as well. You held my mind first. Keeping me sane by making me laugh. I sometimes feel like a little kid around you. You crack me up and make me do things I otherwise wouldn't have the courage for._

_I'm afraid last night also changed something. I love you both so utterly and madly much. I mean I keep rolling this around in my head but I can't explain it any other way. You both have a pull on me that's just scary in a way. But I thrive on it. You two make a better person out of me._

_However, last night means I really can't go back. Nothing will ever be the same, not ever in my life. I've been wrecking my brain and I've even prayed about it._

_I don't think I can choose and make one of you miserable. And nor can I make you guys flip a coin or something weird to make you choose. I guess you won't make me choose though, will you. It is the Twin thing. And you'll be able to share like we have been living for the last few months._

_When Rocco told me months ago you guys were a package deal I thought it was the drunk guy speaking. I didn't understand the depth of those words. And these words were so true, or so I now realize._

_But here's the thing... Maybe you can share me, but you can't share me with your Calling._

_Seriously the bond I feel is so deep and it is equal. But that doesn't mean I can stay here with you.. And since God still doesn't make paper airplanes with his will on it and sends it down, I choose to do the thing I think is right._

_Besides... I don't think I have a calling like you two. That calling is so much more important to the world then I am; I shouldn't be a distraction. I will keep you guys back_

_So, here's the reason you two can't find me. And the reason for this letter. I love you both but you guys have a calling to fulfil. So don't focus on me, focus on what you have to do. I just don't think it's fair that you guys have to choose between me and your cause so I'll take myself out of the equation. By the time you are reading this I'll be long gone. Don't find me. As Rocco told you guys: keep going._

_Be safe._

_Murph, be polite and hold your temper. Connor, keep on planning and I love your rope. ;-) _

_I love you Connor and I love you Murphy. Nothing in this world can change that. I hope you and God will be able to forgive me one day._

_Yours_

_Saoirshe._

_Ps: Use or sell the apartment. Whatever suits you boys. Be safe tomorrow and give my regards to Noah._


	13. Chapter 13

**So here's the last chapter of the day. As I mentioned before I never intended this to grow this big. So here is a chapter with a few time jumps in it. In the next chapters there will be more Connor & Murphy points of view. **

**Thank you all for reading. I couldn't see this story going anywhere else. But will she survive? I really don't know... Please let me know what you guys think!**

**EmmieRoo Guest. Thank you for your criticism. I really don't mind. I'm from the Netherlands so I'm bad with spelling/grammar. And I'm still struggeling with the way it all uploads here on FF. But thank you for telling me. I'll try to be better.**

**Disclaimer: As Usual!**

**PS: Can you guys find the tiny easter eggs?**

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Saoirshe's point of view:

I was pretty sure Connor wouldn't be able to find me here. Murphy wouldn't think of it either. My mother had only stayed in Lawrence for one season. I was six back then and I didn't remember telling Connor about this town. It wasn't really great to look at but I had just scored a job. Something totally different from my usual jobs. I'd be fine here!

BDSBDSBDSBDSBDSBDS

I started crying when I saw the red plus appear on the pee-stick. Really? Are you punishing me, Lord? Pregnant? Me? I'm not fit to raise a kid? I was a total mess.

When I got out of my bathroom I sat down on the edge of my bed, in just my underwear. I let the tears fall down my cheeks as I stared out of my window. The grey sky not really helping me in this sad moment. What was I to do?

After a few hours I decided to get dressed. I went out to get a coffee. When I reached the coffee shop I suddenly realized coffee probably wasn't that of a good idea. Too much coffee was bad for babies, right?

I sat down at a booth with my cup of something-something herbal tea. I wrapped my hands around the foam cup and sighed when it hit me.

Deep down I'd already decided I would keep this baby. Otherwise I wouldn't have thought twice about buying coffee. I swallowed. Ok, so subconsciously I might want this baby. That didn't mean everything was peachy.

A tiny nudge of happiness stirred in my chest. If I could pull this off I would at least have a little piece of the MacMannus in my life. And that would be awesome.

I still had a long way to go. But what if? What if this was just God's way of blessing me for choosing the right path? I let Murphy and Connor do what He wanted.

I smiled... Ok... so for now... I was ok with this.

BDSBDSBDSBDSBDSBDS

I was turned around to put the plate on the give-through window when I felt it again. I smirked proudly. Suddenly the movement inside me became fierce. I grinned as I touched my belly, which had started to show a little. "I know, I know. You two are hungry right? Well at least I am. Just a few more moments. I have to finish my shift here guys."

In my mind I pictured two boys. I'd done that since I had found out I was pregnant with twins. I wished for boys because I'd seen the intense brother love between Conner and Murphy. I prayed for the same love between my children.

"Hey Saoirshe is the bread ready? I've got burgers in need of their companions." Bill called out to me.

I waved at him. "Three more minutes." I grabbed my oven mitt and taped my fingers on the counter. Ready, to get the buns out of the oven.

I had kept track of the boys as far as I could. Cutting out the news articles of things that happened that looked like they had anything to do with it. The articles weren't always positive about them, but I could amend that for my children.

I knew one day I would have to call their Ma. And my own mother too. But I hadn't gathered the courage for either of these calls yet. Really though? What was I going to tell them?

BDSBDSBDSBDSBDSBDS

Oh NO. Something was wrong. The headaches had been annoying. But now they just got worse and worse. I was only 4,5 months pregnant. Come on... How was I going to live until these little ones were born? Running low on money and going crazy because of these headaches. I was lucky Bill had let me stay on this long.

What was wrong with my body? I fell down on my knees. The pain behind my ribs and my blurred vision was annoying the crap out of me. I imagined I would be stronger than this.

Only a few minutes past but, shit, the pain was severe now. _Come on boys_. I whispered. _Stay in there for a few more weeks. I need the money and you need the time to grow._

I almost cried out but managed to keep it down. I stretched my legs in front of me and leant back against the counter.

Troy was cleaning up the last few tables and Bill would be back in a few minutes to close the cash register. I could rest here for a few minutes.

The doorbell chimed. More visitors? Now?

"Sorry. We were about to close." I heard Troy say. I breathe relieved the young skinny guy was sending these last customers away.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the Irish brogue though.

"It's ok. We're here fer the girl. We saw her walk in here this morning." _Connor?_ Was it really Connor?

"Really? Who are you?" My dear co-worker asked them, suddenly all defensive. "What do you want with her?"

"It's nun of yer business." _Murphy._... I grinned a little. There was no doubt in my mind, it was them. They had found me.

But the happiness for having them this close, evaporated by the worsening pain.

I knew Troy was nervous because he crept behind the register. He didn't want to tell the two men that I was down here. "She's my friend. It is my business." He said, trying to sound brave.

I didn't have the strength to tell him that it probably was ok. That they were my friends.

Then my body went rigid against my will. My muscles clenched. I couldn't see through the haze and started to worry. My little ones, my babies.

I didn't even know I'd lost it, but suddenly Troy was beside me and demanded: "What can I do?"

I slumped down to the floor, unable to speak. But somehow the movement had taken my last self discipline and I couldn't hold it down anymore. The pain ripped through me and I screamed. " Nooooo." I screamed.

_No please. Stay inside boys... you two are too little. It's too early._ I thought.

Within seconds Connor was around the bar, Murphy pushing behind him. "Saoirshe?" Connor whispered in my ear. "Are you ok?"

I nodded, though I clearly wasn't.

"Call an ambulance." Connor told Troy.

I struggled to tell them: I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry something is wrong with the boys. But I couldn't get the words out.

Muphy seemed a little shocked with my baby bump. 'Come on Murph haven't you seen a pregnant woman before?'I wanted to tell him. But yet again I was held captive by the pain.

"Who?" I heared him whisper.

I rolled my eyes, at least I think I did, and I heard Connor groan beside me. "Now's not the time Murph. Come on help me keep her still."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello my dear readers.**

I've been locked out of my email (TY microsoft) and through that I couldn't get on Fanfiction. I am so sorry for the long delay. I promise you, I have not abandoned my stories. I will get a few chapters up this week for both the Boondock bits and Redneck Hapiness. Also I will include a Sterek Fan Fiction thing I've been writing on LiveJournal.

I hope you still love the stories as much as I do and will keep reading.

Love!

~Catch the Sun~


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